Sunday, October 21, 2012

Born Wenners: Nepotism, Now

LEAD OPTION 1: Someone get Ben Fucking Fong-Torres on the phone. Or Terry Chen.

LEAD OPTION 2: Aspiring Rolling Stone cover-photographers and/or writers, we finally know exactly what it takes to get that gig you've dreamed up since posting the old double-wide covers on your locker, and it's not—as Toure once explained to us on the corner of Houston and Broadway, true goddamn story—"Get on a TV show."

Whatever, you know what's next: Jann Wenner's giving his kids some great gigs.

Not only did Theo Wenner get to shoot Taylor Swift on some Terry Richardson-lite bullshit for the cover, and get his name dropped in web lead-in text (something they couldn't even do for the apparently nameless photographer who shot the last cover story Brian Hiatt wrote for Rolling Stone on Breaking Bad), but: In the same issue, Gus Wenner has a 1.5 page spread on The ATL Twins (p. 46-47).

Gus Wenner, who, if you didn't know, is 21 years-old, and goes to Brown, and is in a band with Bruce Willis' kid.

Theo Wenner, who's 25 or so, is way ahead of his younger brother, having stamped his passport on the nepotism train quite a few times already.

READER POLL: Do you feel worse for

(A) Whatever poor senior editor is tasked with gluing together the inevitably tinned-out contraction-less awkward virgin prose Gus Wenner turns in, or

(B) Gus Wenner, for having to look forward to living a life of being Yes-Man'd by Papa Jann's bullpen capos who have to keep baby from getting feverish when turning in said copy or even before that, when he's pitching grossly out-of-touch featurettes, being told they're great ideas, and having to walk them through the middle-book meat purification process?